As a girl who’s been called a slut once or twice (or a hundred times) in her lifetime I am especially sensitive to the anti slut-shaming movement. As someone who’s worn her fair share of tight/short dresses, I appreciate the message that just because my outfit is sexy doesn’t mean you get to rape me. And as a mother to a daughter, I am grateful for the notion of self-love and women’s empowerment it preaches and the awareness it brings to the pervasive rape culture that is often swept under the rug. BUT, with all that being said, I am still confused by parts of the “stop slut-shaming” message and I feel like I should be able to ask some important questions and state some valid points.

Look, if you want to be naked to enforce the fact that you love your body and embrace your sexuality, then by all means, do you boo. You will not hear a lecture from me about being a role model, but you will here me ask “is this for the movement or for selfish narcissism.” I think it’s important to point out the difference. A few hundred shameless selfies sets the tone that all you care about is your looks and that all you have to offer is your body. But a photograph used to encourage women of all shapes and sizes (with or without enhanced body parts) can be so inspiring. A pic pointing out the double standards between guys and girls can be very helpful in spreading the message of equality. A picture really does say 1,000 words, but what message is yours sending?

And since we’re talking about guys, let’s clear up something else. If and when someone chooses to pose provocatively, seductively or half-nakedly, it does not give anyone the right to call them a slut or ogle them — I absolutely agree with this point. But when the same folks who demand not to be ogled, profit from said ogling it’s quite confusing. There are avid “stop slut-shaming” supporters who benefit greatly from the seductive stares of men and even prey on it. From Playboy spreads to selling sexy calendars, there are several women who depend on the lecherous looky-loos to fund their extravagant lifestyles. Soooo, it seems as though the message you’re sending is mixed … are these creepy guys allowed to look or not? Only if they’re paying? That seems to be only a stones throw from prostitution, and while I believe that prostitutes deserve love and respect too, it isn’t exactly the line of work I’m hoping to encourage my daughter (or any woman) to enter into. No shade or shame here.

“Stop slut-shaming” is definitely gaining momentum now, but it is still a cause that many are unfamiliar with and still need education on. Case in point, Amber Rose vehemently defended Kim Kardashian’s recent nude selfie after several people thought the reality stars provocative pic was unnecessary. Kim even wrote a whole blog about why people shouldn’t slut-shame her because “it’s 2016” and it needs to stop. But where was KK’s voice when Amber needed her? Kardashian’s husband, Kanye West, boldly told the world that Kim demanded he take “30 showers” after being with a girl like Rose. That’s slut-shaming, right? That happened just last year … slut-shaming was bad in 2015 too, right? (Not to mention the awful things he’s said about her this year, but I digress…)

Look, I’m just a girl looking for a little clarity and consistency. If I’ve misunderstood something about the “stop slut-shaming” movement, please enlighten me. But, if I made a point that hit a nerve, really think about why that is. I want to fully support you, but as I’ve said, I have questions…

If you’ve got answers feel free to comment below or shoot me an email: stilettos.sippycups@gmail.com.